I never imagined that my life would be so frustrating!!! When I pictured my life with children it was much more quaint and picturesque. Reading quietly, running happily along, pushing on a swing. Somehow I managed to leave out the everyday realities of having little beings dependent on you, from my girlish daydreams.
It isn’t just the potty training of twin boys, that gets me, or keeping three little people going in the same direction as me, or constant fighting over every little thing; but the more ordinary tasks that seem to end up being extraordinarily more difficult than necessary that really make my head hurt. For instance, seat belts. In Canada, child car seats are overly complicated to begin with, add to this a desire by my 3 kids to play rotating seats every time they get in the van, combined with a demand for 10 different things while seat belts are being done up and you’ve got a recipe for heartache. This wouldn’t be quit as bad if they were all the same size, but alas, even twins are not always the same. Or perhaps you can relate to the meal time nightmare of preparing what your child has asked for only to have them refuse to eat it and ask for something else. Meanwhile another child has taken two bites, declared themselves done and is now asking for their “treat” or dessert - exasperating to say the least. Then there’s the fight to keep socks and shoes on in public, cold weather, at all! Not to mention that when you try for the pants instead of shorts and you get screams and tears (can’t say I blame him really, I hate winter), and a stark naked boy running through the house. What about the nonstop talking ALL Day LONG, from 2 out of 3 children! I can’t hear myself think let alone what my 3rd child is trying to tell me (no wonder he took longer to talk!). And most of it either doesn’t make sense, is a complete statement of the obvious, and coming right when you didn’t need to hear it. Or that EVERY drink you give your children will have at least a drop spilled from it (more often than not, the whole thing!); the piles of discarded food you find in the strangest of places; the fact that your stuff is infinitely more interesting than the 10 million toys they have strewn around the house; that the most popular time to ask for something is immediately after you sit down; your being on the phone signals that they need to talk as loud as possible to you; and my personal favorite, that they don’t have to use the bathroom or eat until you have just left the house and are driving somewhere.
This behaviour cannot be attributed to one child more than another either, or at least not in my family, as they take turns from day-to-day or if I’m really lucky, hour to hour being the miserable, uncooperative little blessing. As if it is not bad enough that my kids are CONSTANTLY asking for something, they don’t even want what they are asking for! And before you let the words “just say no” out of your mouths, let me tell you that NO is the number one word used in my vocabulary now. My little darlings seem to look at one let down as practice for the next attempt. Sometimes, in the midst of my near forming tears of anger and frustration, I admire the stamina and perseverance of my little babies; I just wish they would apply it to something less painful for me!
People don’t tell you the truth about parenting when you’re kidless. Which really is a shame, because a little warning would come in handy. Instead of going out and buying useless baby gear when pregnant we could take referee and negotiating training. We could stock up on head ache medication and gift certificates for babysitting and spa treatments. Not to forget the anger management classes that might save a few people from insanity. But alas, hindsight is 50/50! Still I might look into some of this though.
