So you’re feeling frustrated. You’re even pretty close to pulling your hair out at times. Well that is the life of a mother, well parent, as you do the daily dance of wills with your children who are learning to interact with and interpret their world. Unfortunately this often interferes with how we move within that same world.
I am learning that the greatest key to being a “good parent” is learning how to “go with the flow” through everyday life activities. By this I mean finding ways to move with your children instead of trying to move against them. If you are making beds, and they are jumping on them, teach them how to make the bed with you; and if it comes out nothing like you wanted it to, so be it! Now don’t get me wrong, more often than not my OCD takes over and I find it hard to let go. But being able to recognize what is frustrating me and attempting to let it go, has lessened my daily headaches of late.
For 14 years off and on I have practice Yoga, mostly for the physical benefits; a typically Western way of looking at the practice. I always found that meditation was to hard for my over-active and anxiety ridden mind. But having confronted my anxiety disorder head on this year, and found great displeasure in the psychotropic drugs most often subscribed for my condition, I finally decided to take a more serious approach to my Yoga practice. My lifestyle change was actually two-fold as I came to peace with my long-time admiration of Buddhism. You see, back in my youthful days, my first meditation class was taken in a Buddhist temple. In no building have I ever felt more at home or at peace than there. And until now, at no time was I able to meditate anywhere but there. But this is all personal choice and I would not want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. Yoga has given me the tools to bring peace into my otherwise chaotic life (both internal and external).
No one can promise you that you will never yell at your kids again, or that you wont feel the searing pain of a headache from their screaming, crying or whining. Mostly because as kids they will always be in the moment, and considering the age of mine (5 and 3 year old twins) the emotional maturity isn’t there yet to have the amount of self control that would make mommy less insane! But knowing what you are feeling and why you are feeling it, is half the battle to letting it go and replacing it with a more positive feeling. Taking a deep breath and asking yourself how bad or important what you are frustrated about, can lead to a certain calm that naturally allows you to let go. And that’s what it’s all about, letting go. Parenthood and Yoga (and Buddhism) have much in common. The art of knowing that you cannot hang on forever or even fleetingly and that all things change allows you to know that living for the moment can give you the greatest satisfaction and contentment you will ever know.
Think of the last time you expressed love for your child, or they did for you, and how complete and content you felt. Think of how that can completely overcome you and than think how nice it would be to have that feeling all the time! Someday perhaps. For now, I am muddling through one moment at a time and finding ways to treasure each of them!
